The estimated time to read this post is 246 minutes.
It’s me again, yes how did you guess?
‘Cause the last time, you were really impressed
And I’m bolder, cold getting colder
And at the very same time I heat up at a party
But not with solar power
For far too long made mistakes
And allowed a fat and ugly thing to get in my way…
What would drive a man to quote Betty Boo? You know, the next thing I really wanted to write about was Yoko Ono and Iceland. Tonight, however, I’m pissed, and bad ridiculousness needs to be followed up with some good ridiculousness.
I live in Michigan, where our One Tough [Pandering] Nerd of a governor just signed into law legislation banning benefits for domestic partners, passed by our degenerate House and Senate.
When this surfaced earlier this year, I wrote my representatives and the governor urging him to veto this bill. It’s a transparent attempt to legislate an antiquated sense of morality that discriminates against one group of people: gays. The bill was primarily aimed at ending domestic partner benefits for gay people in state government and at public universites, based on the 2004 one man-one woman marriage amendment. The good thing is it’s not going to affect those people; however, it will still affect municipal and school employees, both gay and straight.
This is regressive. This is backwards-looking. This does not move us forward. It is also relatively meaningless in terms of “saving money”. It turns out only 138 public employees take advantage of this, .00418 % of the state’s 33,000 eligible public employees. Several generations from now—if we don’t end up self-immolating as a species before then—your descendants are going to look back on these fights as we do on segregation and the civil rights era. (With the exception of you knuckle-draggers. Again, how do you get Internet into that trailer of yours? And you can read? Why are you here?)
States rights! First: hello again, bigot! You might say that I should move somewhere else where gay marriage is supported, but I don’t want to. I’m not interested in running away from institutional bigotry, because its victims need a face in order to stop it. And it needs to stop. And I’ve lived here so long that I’ve picked up the accent and politeness that makes other regions want to pat me on the head, so it’s home, and I’m tired of people insulting me in my own home. So who am I?
- I’m someone who’s chosen to live here for the last 18 years of my life.
- I’m someone who helped build one of few internationally succesful internetworking and security companies based in the midwest, creating high-paying, fantastic jobs in a region known for anything but.
- I helped build and sustain that company during the darkest days of Michigan’s economy. Lemons, lemonade.
- I’m smart.
- I’m motivated.
- I pay my taxes.
- I’m gay.
For those of you who voted for Snyder, thinking that he’s an independent and a moderate: think again. He’s not. Or if he is, he just pandered to the people in our state who aren’t doing anything to move it forward. If he was a good businessman, he’d recognize the value in keeping domestic partner benefits and take a stand. My company does. So think about that the next time you go to the ballot box. Or the next time someone hands you a “Recall Rick Snyder” campaign peition to sign.
If you live in Ann Arbor or surrounding area in Washtenaw county, you should check to see if the retrograde Mark Ouimet is your state representative, because he voted to pass this legislation. Yes, even you, living in the diverse northeast or Ann Arbor Hills. You have a hick representing you. Please check out his record, and let him know how you feel.
It turns out 62% of Michiganders support some form of recognition of same-sex couples. If this sometimes-backwards state has gotten to this point, I see this as a galvanizing call for the federal recognition of same-sex marriage or unions. Once we deregulate marriage at the federal level, legislation like this will be superfluous and we can get back to doing useful things, like rebuilding our economy.
So tonight I’m gonna take time out
To wipe that smile off your face
You’re a side effect—like an aftertaste
So face the facts, I do the job well
And hell, why not—I got a lot
So tell me…
What you’re saying:
I’m not playing?
Somebody’s gotta go and I’m staying, Rick!
Get back, exactly, you got me right:
Get up, get with it or get outta my sight!
Because I’m hot and sizzling, put you in the mood…
Someone like you puts me off my food…