The estimated time to read this post is 3 minutes.
Pink and red aren’t exactly complementary, and few people can pull it off. I haven’t tried, myself. I’m not even sure why they’ve been chosen. I haven’t looked it up, either, because I don’t really care about that aspect. I didn’t change my profile picture, because if you know me, you should know that I’m gay, and I think two consenting adults should be allowed to be married in the US, regardless of their genitalia. I’m kind of on the in with this one. Implicit, not explicit, so to speak.
I’m also well aware that changing your Facebook photo isn’t going to change how the Supreme Court rules, but despite that, it’s nice to know that for all the years of:
- Getting picked on as a kid for innate behavior, largely out of my control
- Wondering, as a child, if I was simply doomed to die, since gay men got sick and did so when I was growing up, and the growing suspicion I might be One of Them
- Worrying that I’d never find someone to love, and even if I did, if my family would disown me
… there are now people who think I should be allowed to get married, legally. That finally, I’m considered fully (mostly?) human, after praying as a little boy for a higher power to change me into something acceptable.
My prayers were answered, just not in the way I’d ever anticipated: it’s inspiring to see the sea of support. It makes up—a little—for all those years of nagging doubt despite my best efforts otherwise.
However, I also wonder if we live in an echo chamber when it comes to the people with whom we associate, because I wasn’t seeing a negative response. I’m guessing Facebook’s algorithms work to screen these kinds of things as a side effect of how interests intersect otherwise. Or maybe people are just being quiet, figuring their stance is just as implicit as mine.
So I went looking, and found a few things. I found that some people, while they disagree, aren’t taking a political stance on Facebook. Thanks: I appreciate it. I think it’s important to have people in your life with whom you disagree, and people who understand that idea are worth having around, even if you do disagree. Sometimes you can learn things.
But there is a line: I don’t want to be friends with people who explicitly make it a stance to deny me my humanity. It triggers a fight-or-flight response—this is survival—and I’ve spent my life doing well by others, my community, and largely living by the tenets, morals and principles set by my family and church growing up. I’m not going to consciously allow myself to be stomped on by the fallibility of man. I’ll listen to an argument, and we may even do business, but we’re not going to be friends.
If you don’t like gay marriage, here are some tips:
- Don’t have one.
- Don’t go to one if you’re invited.
However, please understand: there is a separation between church and state, and eventually this particular institution will be realized within that context.
And to those of you who support us, thank you. It means more than you may realize.